14/09/2009
God..I really need your help..I can't keep myself away from sadness..from loneliness..Everyday I am trying hard to control my temper..To not let it loose easily..But it is so hard and what i achieve is still so little..
All this while, I keep trying not to be unhappy or to hope that you can chat with me..I keep fill my time with all sorts of things..Even stupid things..But in the end..my mind will still stray to you..Without you contacting me, something seems to be wrong..Why after all this while I still can't accept that you won't be always with me..What did I lack?? Starting from tomorrow, I must begin my intensive training..Not to keep thinking of you..To only contact you once in a while..
Will our love withers?? Hard to say..Maybe it already did and all I am doing now is to nurture it back to normal..
I realize I am a superb actor..During last few week's compulsory counseling section..Even the psychology student was fooled by me and even say I am optimistic type of person..I believe she will consider dropping the course if i ever let her into my heart..Haha..A totally opposite person i think she will say i am..Haha..But anyway..This only proved one thing, that is I can hide myself well enough without other people noticing who i am..Good for becoming assassin but sometimes even i don't know who I am..Sad to say this..I conceive myself too from myself..Damn..
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